Crazy Boys: Episode 2

Sometimes the boys don't want to go to bed. Actually, it happens often but they are usually not really stubborn. Last night, Jen and I decided that they weren't really tired so we let them come out as long as they "played nice" together. What they chose to do was not what I had in mind.

Very methodically Chase would remove a toy from the toy box and tell Lucas what it was. Then Lucas would say where the toy was supposed to go and Chase would give the toy to Lucas to put it somewhere.

This is how it went:
Chase (picking up a toy): Horse!
Lucas: That goes on the coffee table
Chase: Here you go, Gukas
Lucas: Thanks (and he would run off to put it on the coffee table)

Now, with one destination it does not sound that bad to clean up later. Let me tell you some of the possible destinations:

1. Coffee Table
2. Couch
3. Futon
4. Under the coffee table
5. Kitchen table
6. 1 of 4 chairs around the table
7. The book shelf
8. Chase's bed
9. TV stand
10. TV
11. Window sill
12. Pantry
13. Laundry room
14. Refrigerator...

Do I need to continue? Little did I know that this was their master plan. They know that they have to clean up the toys before going to bed and were banking that this time would be no different. The boys had worked their way into a 10:15 bedtime.

I applaud their ingenuity.

Sushi!

I have a new favorite restaurant in town. Blue C Sushi opened a new location in the outdoor village at the Alderwood Mall! I don't like sushi. At least I thought I didn't...

The restaurant has a really neat set up. There is a conveyor belt that moves plates of sushi through the restaurant (it passes next to every table - I calculated that it is about 200 ft long). So you just grab what you want as it goes by and they charge you based on the color of the plate. I haven't eaten any of the raw stuff yet but the things I have tried have been excellent.

Anyway, next time you are in town we will go.

I guess this wasn't a very funny post but... you get what you pay for.

Crazy Boys: Episode 1

I have decided to start a series of postings labeled "Crazy Boys". This is mainly an outlet to bring the boys' craziness to the rest of the world...

During dinner tonight the boys decided they had super powers. They could both "shoot" each other with their fist from across the table. All they had to do was hold out their fist and say "shoot". Apparently, they thought this was pretty funny. Here is how it went:

Lucas: Shoot!
Chase: Shoot!
Lucas: Shoot!
Chase: Shoot!
Chase: Shoot! (woah... rapid fire)
Lucas: Hey!
Chase: Shoot!
Lucas: Shoot!
Chase: Shoot!
Chase: Shoot!
Chase: Shoot!
Chase: Shoot!
Lucas: Don't say shoot, Chase. (apparently Lucas now thought saying "shoot" was inappropriate)

And that was the end of that.

Renting Movies

Recently, Jenni and I decided to give Netflix a try. It is very simple:

1. Make a list of movies you want to see
2. They send you three
3. Return a movie
4. They send you another from your list
5. Repeat 3-4

It is a very simple process. You can even set up multiple movie queues for family members. There in lies the problem. You see, we all have very different tastes. I set up a queue for TV shows we wanted to see. That way when we get done with one disc from a season we get the next disc in that queue - the next in the season. So it is set up so that one disc comes from the TV queue (the one in my name). That leaves 2 movies in the main queue (in Jenni's name).

It is a very simple process. We have a TV show disc and two family discs. But there is still a problem. The boys like having a movie to watch... rent "Aladdin" and return it to get "The Fox and the Hound". Fantastic (forget the fact that they don't understand "renting" a movie - they are still asking for Aladdin). But this leaves only one disc to choose for Jenni and I.

Today, I proposed a new solution. I would set up the queue in my name for the movies I want to see. I would add a queue for the boys' movies. Perfect. But, Jenni made a very perceptive observation (she is really good at that passive thing). She said, "So... the TV shows are coming out of my queue". (darn it - my master plan was thwarted) "What was that?" I said trying to avoid the implicit accusations of hogging the Netflix queue.

Like I was saying: it is a very simple process. Put everything in one queue - whoever reorders the queue last - wins! (I should probably upgrade our subscription when Netflix queue space becomes the currency of our household)

Decorating

Well, there comes a time in every man's life where his wife wants to hang pictures. In our case it was a wife who let her husband buy a laser level so that he could hang the larger picture frames that he just bought. Now, for those of you who do not know me - I am not a handyman. If you want that - talk to Greg. Have you ever heard the phrase "Close only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades"? Well, that's me. Having things almost lined up does not cut it. So, being unhandy and a perfectionist - that is where the laser level comes in.

There are two things wrong with hanging pictures:

1. You can't do it while the children are sleeping (you will wake them up)
2. You can't do it while the children are awake (they will want to "help")

Luckily, we had rented "The Fox and the Hound" - so the boys were preoccupied with that - for the first 10 minutes. Then I was standing on the couch trying to evenly hang three frames - of two different sizes. And then there is the difficulty of keeping the boys from hitting each other with the hammer, shining the laser in their eyes, drawing on the wall, eating nails, stabbing themselves or breaking a frame. In hindsight, I should have used my tool belt (I wonder why I didn't think of that earlier).

Anyway, there were no injuries. Then, I took to hanging a painting over the mantle - not too difficult (one picture and I had my laser level - you may be asking why I needed a laser level to hang one picture... I just did). Well, to hang the painting I was standing on a chair (off which Lucas repeatedly tried to pull me). When I was done I forgot to remove the chair from under the mantel.

I went on my business doing the dishes (you know - women love a man with dishpan hands - thanks Deb). Things were rather quiet... that is a bad sign. It had only been a few minutes since I started the dishes and I looked at the mantel. I just about hit the floor laughing. The painting was still there and the pictures we had on the mantel were untouched. Even the chair was still in the same place. But, no one was watching the dinosaurs! They had migrated again. In fact, I caught them mid-migration - across the mantel (and some were on the end table in route to the mantel).

One of Lucas' books says that the fastest dinosaurs could run thirty-five miles per hour... I beg to differ. Our dinosaurs are much faster - and can teleport across great distances.

Hidden Experience

It's kind of funny. Whenever we have Max with us during worship service someone always says "Just you wait till he starts walking, talking and getting into everything". We usually just smile and nod (saving the giver of unsolicited advice from embarrassment). That is, until Lucas runs up and says "Hi Daddy! You packing up your drums? Can I have my velociraptor?"

I guess we are out of the ordinary. Twenty-five, married for five years, three kids under four... (please, don't check my accuracy). I think people at church are getting used to the three ring circus performance as we try to leave the building (the past couple Sundays I have smelled popcorn - but I hope that is unrelated).

At the end of service, Jenni goes and rounds up the kids from their respective classes and I pack up my drumset as fast as I can. Then, we grab our coats off the coat rack and head to the foyer to get ready to go. I am convinced that it's impossible to put a coat on a kid that does not want to wear one! (Sometimes, there is quite a scene when leaving church)

Bring on the popcorn!

Laptop? or Dinosaur Platform!

Well, if you know Lucas you know about his two obsessions right now: Dinosaurs and organizing his dinosaurs. I have walked into the living room many times to see a reenactment of "The Great Dinosaur Migration" - dinosaurs lined up wall-to-wall all facing the same direction. Today we tried something new. Grandma Julie sent a "Land Before Time" animated storybook (computer game). I set up the laptop on the coffee table and connected a mouse. The mouse sensitivity was turned down so low that you have to use the entire table to move the cursor across the screen. Lucas was having a blast clicking on the fossils and watching the story. He seemed pretty entertained so I decided to go into the other room and let him play for a while.

When I came back the laptop was closed and a herd of dinosaurs were migrating over it. I don't even think they realized the technology they had stumbled upon. And probably the funniest part about all of this (and I realize that I don't notice this anymore) was that Lucas did not have pants on.

So where was Chase during all of this? Sleeping. Where was Max? Under the coffee table.

I just don't know.

When Olive Garden Attacks

We had a pretty lousy experience the other night at the local Olive Garden - through no fault of our own. Usually reckless children (our own) that can't be kept quite by their parents (us) can make for a stressful meal. But not this time! We had dinosaurs with us - a velociraptor and an allosaurus (or as Chase puts it "Ass-orus"). So the boys were having a nice time... until (dun dun dun) our waiter dropped a tray of dirty dishes on Chase.

I don't really blame anyone for what then transpired. It turns out that Chase does not like dishes dropped on him and Max does not like loud noises - neither does Lucas for that matter. So our content children instantly transformed into inconsolable messes. That is probably the reason that our waiter then ignored us until our meals were ready (well, the rest of the time).

We probably should have taken that as a sign that we should have ended the evening there (it would have been useless to go home because we didn't have any food.). So, we headed to the "super walmart of the northwest" - Fred Meyers. In hindsight, it was not the best decision.

In Seattle, when it rains - it pours (actually, it usually is raining... so that doesn't really make a lot of sense). Lucas and Chase like riding in the "Car-Carts" at Fred Meyers. Upon walking into the store we saw two car carts (red and blue) but each were missing one steering wheel. If you have multiple children you understand the dilemma. In my eyes we had 2 choices:

1. Red cart with Lucas driving (Chase crying)
2. Red cart with Chase driving (Lucas crying)
a. Blue cart with Lucas driving (Chase crying)
b. Blue cart with Chase driving (Lucas crying)
Z. Blue cart take turns driving (take turns crying)
L. Red cart take turns driving (take turns crying)
%. No car cart (both crying)

or, think outside the box (break the remaining steering wheel) - then we only have to deal with the color... now then - Red or Blue (the fighting continues).

I think we ended up with option L. And we still had another cart for Max's car seat and the groceries. The car cart was full of the junk we brought in with us (that I hope we don't get charged for on the way out).

I am going to be honest - I don't handle some foods too well and I sometimes have stomach issues at inopportune times. So nature calls when we have two carts of groceries. Sometimes nature is more or less demanding my attention than calling a phone. So I ditch Jenni with the boys and two carts that she cannot move herself.

... Ten minutes later ...

I get back to the family I left - but there is a smell in the air (not me... Chase). So Jenni took Chase to the bathroom to change him. I then explained to Lucas the differences between all the types of microwavable popcorn. Chase and Jenni returned but a now visible green cloud followed them. We had made a terrible error in that we had not brought extra clothes for Chase.

So... to bring you up to speed: I am pushing a car cart (which turns like a boat) with Chase in dirty pants - through the grocery store. We had a green cloud following us - at least Jenni could locate us. I would check in with Jenni after I found my three items and she would give me three more (We find that three is about my limit before I forget something and then we have to back track).

Long story short - Our three children survived another outing.

Futon Fun!

A few words come to mind when I think about futons: comfortable, couch, bed, easy to move. That's right - Easy to move. I guess this realization comes with a little perspective. To move a full size couch through an apartment you have to move everything out of the way - tables, toys, children... etc. Not to mention, it is just plain difficult to get a couch through a standard size doorway.

Here is my "perspective" on why it is easier to move a futon. Yes, it is bigger, heavier and collapses on you when you least expect it. However, it handles keeping the kids away using a clever invention - the mattress. I can struggle for an hour moving the futon's frame as long as I laid the mattress on the floor of the living room ahead of time. I didn't even have to instruct the boys to stay on the mattress and out of my way.

This discovery brings another thing to mind - Since the futon is now out of Max's room and in the living room, can I use the futon to my advantage to keep the kids contained during difficult times? Time will tell.

Anyway, Lucas is excited about Greg and Lauren coming to visit in a few weeks. When I finished struggling with the furniture we had the following exchange:

Lucas: Is that for Greg and "Lorn" to sleep on?
Brian: It's "Lor - en" (mispelling intentional)
Lucas (pauses): Are you serious?
Brian: Yeah - "Lor-en"
Lucas: Are you kiddin me?

I decided not to take the conversation any further - mostly because Chase fell off the futon. You have to understand Chase. Things that look like they would hurt him (like elbowing him in the face while reaching for the remote) doesn't hurt but Lucas breathing while two feet away sends him running like he chopped his legs off in a lawn mower.

Anyway, the futon has been in the living room for 20 minutes and already Chase has fallen off and Lucas stubbed his toe (I heard him muttering about Meme and Papa's toe-truck). This begs the age old question - "Futon: Friend or Foe?"